I’m writing this entry while I am supervising another night school exam at my work (a uni). I feel like a bit of a dill, because I suspected that 2 guys down the back of the room were copying each others’ work. I’d been giving them stern looks all evening (ah, power…) I thought I’d go one step further and stroll down towards the back of the room, doing my best attempt at an imposing and aggressive face. I sorta looked like a dickhead though, because when I got there I realised they were 2 rows apart.

Also, when I was strolling around the room further into the exam, this woman (who I at first thought was this blobby thing with a head and 4 limbs stuck to it) turned around and winked at me. I desperately hope the 2 incidents aren’t connected.

I’ve noticed that the first person to leave an exam room seems to be the most bimbo/himbo person in the room. The last person is always some old guy with an incredibly flushed face who’s yet to grasp the concept of personal hygine. You can always pick which student will be the first to leave the exam room - it’s the student who gets an oh-my-god-my-exam-just-turned-into-a-giant-turd look on their face as soon as they start reading the exam questions.

I had a guy in this evening’s exam who changed his desk 3 times because he said the other ones squeaked too much. The desks probably wouldn’t have squeaked so much if he would have stopped masturbating underneath them. (Oh, alright. That last bit isn’t true).

A guy at my work has just moved into a new home, and today I heard him on the phone to Telstra demanding his phone number be changed, because his new phone number has ‘666′ in it. They gave him a new phone number, so me and a mate had a bit of fun with it. You see, my mate has this program he downloaded off the net, which looks at your phone number and checks what words can be incorporated into it. Eg: The phone number ‘9481 2337′ can become the phone number ‘9481 BEER’, because the letter B corresponds to the number 2 on your phone keypad, the letter E corresponds to the number 3, and the letter R corresponds to the number 7. (If you’re confused, check your phone keypad). Anyway - it turns out that the numbers ‘662′ are in this guy’s new phone number, and out of these numbers you can make the word ‘NOB’. Which couldn’t be more appropriate, considering what this guy is like.

In the office I work in, we throw stationery items at each other when we’re pissed off - the larger the object, the more pissed off we are. Here’s a general guide to what we’re thinking and what we throw at each other:
‘You idiot’ - a paperclip.
‘Wanker’ - a pen.
‘That wasn’t funny’ - a ruler.
‘May the wrath of Satan have vegeance on your weak, pitiful soul’ - a brick.

In an exam I supervised Thursday night, I noticed one of the girls in the room was crying her eyes out. I guess she hadn’t studied or something. All the students have to get their exams signed by the superviser as they leave the room. The crying girl had managed to get her emotions in order when I signed her exam for her, but then a big glob of snot flew out her nose and landed on my signiture - which set off the waterworks again…

If you don’t live in Melbourne, you may not be aware of the proposed “Grollo Tower”, which was to be the tallest tower in the world. There’s been a lot of opposition to it, mainly because of the giant shadow it would cast, but it’s just been announced the tower is no longer going to be built. It was shaped like a really skinny, tall pyramid with the pointy bit cut off. So it really made me wonder when I overheard a co-worker say they were “glad the tower won’t be built because it looked like a giant penis”. If that’s his idea of the appearance of the male genitalia, I sure as hell don’t want to see what his looks like.

Did anyone else watch that crap Who Wants To Be A Millionaire show on Wednesday night? The excess theatrics really made me laugh. Sure, you might be winning thousands of dollars with every correct answer, but when you’re getting asked questions as pissweak as (read in ominous voice with oh-so-suspensful music in the background) “Telstra is one of Australia’s main telephone service carriers. What is the other?” I personally wouldn’t be mopping my brow and pretending to poo myself like these contestants (actors? *cough*) are.

Conversation I had with an American tourist who was asking for directions today:

Me: Some people say that Melbourne is like New York without the crime.
US Tourist: Well, where’s the fun in that, then?

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 15th, 1999 at 6:59 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.