Why are all the management at my work so obese? And not only do a lot of them need to lose weight, they also need to re-arrange it.
And I know it’s horribly immature of me, but I’ve never denied that my peurile factor is quite high… but when Hardware House advertise a “Big Tool Sale”, […]

I tried an experiment today. I opened a bottle of Coke, and drank some. It tasted like Coke. Then I pulled the label off and drank some more. Suddenly it didn’t taste like Coke anymore. That’s marketing for you. They may as well call it Brown, Bubbly & Wet™.
Another Whathafuck?! moment today - I was […]

It’s No Wonder I Haven’t Been Promoted Yet When I Say Things Like This At Work #582:
Today at work we witnessed 6 firetrucks drive past in quick succession.
Ms Superiority (Resident Bitch): I wanted to be a fireman when I was a kid. I wouldn’t mind doing that as a job, actually.
Me: Good to see you’re […]

Today I was driving to the local shopping centre and encountered my first real life road rage incident. A guy cut off some other guy, then when he slowed down at the intersection, he got out of his car, went to the other guy’s car and tried to punch him through his open window. He […]

Today at the uni I work at, we released our second semester timetable, but not until 4pm. You should’ve seen it though - we had students all lining up outside the admin offices eager to get their hands on the new timetable so they could enrol and not miss out on their classes. You’d be […]

You gotta love student protests. When I was at uni, I’d protest about the lack of salt on my chips if it meant I’d have a good excuse to not go to class. Today’s Anti-VSU protest in the city today was pretty lame as far as protests go though.. hehe. I mean, I haven’t really […]

I’ve figured out a neat trick with my daily ticket I buy for Melbourne’s public transport. See, I have to travel via a V-Line train (country train) into Melbourne, and I buy a daily Melbourne public transport ticket there. What I have been doing lately, is giving my still-valid ticket to anyone I find attractive […]

Um, today’s subject line is totally irrelevant to anything I have to say. I’ve desperately been trying to think of something that involves both deep emotional feelings and margarine so I could use that subject line, but it’s not working. (How about this: Whenever I use margarine as a deodorant, it leaves me both […]

I had a few ciggers this weekend. Now normally, I don’t think you could classify me as a smoker, but it does feel comfortable sometimes having a cigger in my hand when I have a drink in the other. I should be careful though - I’ll have to watch out if I start smoking too […]

Today in a nearby shopping centre, a police band was providing some light entertainment during lunch. Except this was not your average police band. We’re talking a try hard guy on an electric guitar he didn’t dare to play a chord on, only single notes; a cheesy Casio keyboard, and a crapola electronic drum kit, […]

It’s probably quite boring you reading about my work, but suffer. That’s what I’m going to talk about here. (Again).
Today I had a guy come in to the uni I work at. I went over to him to help him.
Me: Can I help you with anything?
Fruit Loop Man: I HAVE DISCOVERED THE SUPERMAN MEDICINE!
Me: I […]

At work today, I had someone ringing me up about a certain uni course we offer. The only problem is we offer it at another campus to the one I work at, so I wasn’t able to supply this particular lady with any information - all I could offer was that she call the appropriate […]

At work right now, we’ve got a woman who normally works at another campus of the uni I work at. She’s over at our campus right now for training, because basically, she can’t touch a thing without stuffing it up. She’s a walking catastrophe and I’m scared to go near her because my shoelaces spontaneously […]

You know how you have those moments where everything seems suddenly surreal - a ‘whatthefuck’ moment? I had one of those today.
I had to visit one of my mum’s older friends today to drop something off for her, and I walked into her loungeroom, and what is sitting in the centre of the […]