I’m So Sorry My Dear, I Can’t Sleep With You. I Have a Hunchback
Today in a nearby shopping centre, a police band was providing some light entertainment during lunch. Except this was not your average police band. We’re talking a try hard guy on an electric guitar he didn’t dare to play a chord on, only single notes; a cheesy Casio keyboard, and a crapola electronic drum kit, with a bimbo pouty female as the singer. (I reckon they got all their instruments as re-possessed items that had been stolen). Seeing this woman strutting around pouting in her police uniform, I expected her to take off all her clothes any minute. The cheesy keyboard music and everything made her seem like one of those policewoman strippers.
The guy at my work with the NOB phone number (see 15th April’s entry) saw Kate Langbroek of The Panel fame eating dinner last night. Because the NOB man is the high flying yuppie that he is, he wanted to go and join her table. Of course she turned him away. (This guy is serious yuppie material. If you could get Calvin Klein nose hair trimmers, he’d have them). He mentioned to me today that every time she’s on The Panel, she loves to make mention of the fact that she writes scripts for Neighbours. (Personally, not something I’d be proud of). Funny how she never mentions that she once appeared topless in that lovely serial drama Chances.
It’s funny, because a high school friend of mine has an uncle who did a guest spot in Chances. He was a hunchback man, and his sole line was “I’m so sorry my dear, I can’t sleep with you. I have a hunchback.” Damn, I missed that episode.
I’m sure you’ve seen the ads for those Gillette Mach 3 razors. You know the ones, with the 3 blades. “3 blades specially positioned to extend gradually closer to your beard”, the marketing sprouts forth. “3 blades to shave you progressively closer”. “3 blades with less need to reshave”. And as I found out today, 3 blades which give you 3 times a more painful shaving cut than normal. Splits your face into 3 easy pieces!