Today I was driving to the local shopping centre and encountered my first real life road rage incident. A guy cut off some other guy, then when he slowed down at the intersection, he got out of his car, went to the other guy’s car and tried to punch him through his open window. He looked like a bit of a psycho though (he had a throbbing vein on his forehead that looked like it could honk the horn all on its own) – I mean, normally someone probably cuts him off and 2 passengers in his car would get killed in the crossfire.

Some people get pretty violent on the road, don’t they? The kind of people who have a right arm bigger than Popeye’s from giving the finger (and in the case of the last guy, from aiming the Uzi as well) at other drivers. You could have enough guns and ammo to fill a Tarantino film, yet you’re just going down to the supermarket for some milk.

Do you find yourself threatening other drivers with a cigarette lighter (for want of a more effective weapon)? Why not try an Uzi with laser sighting? Nobody’ll get in your way then. Failing that, I have only two words: faeces slingshot.

There are 2 real signs that you suffer from road rage. When you go for your license and you answer the question: “When passing on the right, you should always what?”, your answer is “shoot to kill.” Also, if you find a lazy chopper pilot for Channel 10’s “Wildest Police Videos” simply waits outside your garage, that may be a sign as well.

Personally, I’ve stopped wearing pants in the car. Makes it easier to moon tailgaters.

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 22nd, 1999 at 6:16 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.