At my work, a uni, it’s once again time for exams. I supervise a couple of them, and let me tell you, sitting there for 3 hours doing nothing has an excitement level comparable to the level of ecstacy you reach when Big Kev introduces his latest line of hygeine products on Good Morning Australia.

If only exams were interesting, and we got male strippers at half time… but it is not to be, sadly.

Here is a list of things that happened during the exam I supervised:

* 3 people audibly farted
*Only 1 person owned up by guiltly glancing around
* The fat woman in the front row kept crossing and uncrossing her legs. She was wearing corduroy pants so every time she does so, her legs make this whoop-whoop kind of sound.
* Another woman appeared to be wearing a dress made of carpet.
* Someone appeared to be working on the principle that they can draw answers from a pencil by biting on it.
* The first person to leave the exam usually hasn’t studied. (Everyone has to sign out of the exam when they hand in their paper). In this case, the first person to leave had the surname Smart, so we’ll see about that, ha, ha ha….
* Someone kept stretching their arms to the point where it started to turn into a stationary form of Aerobics Oz Style. (Why doesn’t that show have a website?)

If only I had nine metre wide testicles, I’d have a valid excuse not to do this job. But I don’t.

I came up with a good insult today, if I do say so myself. Ms Superiority, resident bitch at work and myself always give each other shit - as evidenced below.

Ms Superiority: You’re giving me the shits. Piss off.
Me: You’re no bag of delight either, you know.
Ms Superiority: You’ve got no idea how much you give me the irrits sometimes. Fuck off.
Me: I have no idea? What about you? Just looking at you gives me carpet burn.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 15th, 1999 at 10:11 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.