Archive for September, 1999

I Doused Myself in Coke and Lit a Match

Friday, September 17th, 1999

Oh, not really. But I’m not going to be able to update my journal thing for a while. Why? Because no job = no money = no internet = no updates (for now).
Hopefully it won’t be too long before I get a job again. But until then, nothing much is happening here.
The current plan for […]

This is a Very Important Announcement! If You Don’t Do This in the Next Minute You Will ECHO ECHO ECHO ECHO ECHO ECHO

Wednesday, September 15th, 1999

Conversation with my mum earlier on today:
My mum: Oh, this radio reception is so bad. It keeps going all loud then all quiet.
Me: It could be your hearing. Do you find things go loud then quiet often?
*****
I’m back from my little trip to Queensland. I’ve come to a few decisions during my time up […]

Mmm, Ajaxy

Wednesday, September 8th, 1999

Ajax Spray & Wipe Household Cleaner. It smells so nice, so why not use it as an ingredient in meals? I thought I should check it was okay to do this by calling their Consumer Information Service hotline.
Consumer Information Representative: Hello, how can I help you?
Me: Hi. I’ve got this bottle of Ajax here.
Consumer Information […]

Why Panic Anyway? They’re Being Held in New South Wales, Not Victoria

Tuesday, September 7th, 1999

Today:
My mum: Shit! When are the Olympics?
Me: Ummm?
My mum: (pause) Oh, next year. That’s okay. I almost had a panic, I thought they were only a month away.

I Don’t Even Want to Know What the Hidden Messages in Backstreet Boys Songs Are

Sunday, September 5th, 1999

There’s an awful lot of those King Size chocolates available now. I’ve got a bag of King Size M&M’s here. I guess that kings must eat around 20 grams more in each serving of M&M’s than commoners do.
Don’t ask why, but I ran that Spice Girl lyric “Zig A Zig Ah” through a translator, in […]

Why Worry About Y2K When You Can Look Forward to C2D?

Thursday, September 2nd, 1999

Chatting last night with a friend of mine:
Me: Do you know what we should be worried about? The Offspring live CD that was taped in Sydney. That’s getting released soon.
Friend: Ergh. God save us.
Me: And then… Celine Dion retires in the year 2000.
Friend: Hahahha…
Me: Seriously! She does. Most people are counting down to Y2K, but […]

Team Blonding Session

Wednesday, September 1st, 1999

Me (on phone to my mum): It’s exactly the friggin’ same!
My mum: No it’s not! Sport is stronger!
Me: Why WOULDN’T they make them all the same strength?
My mum: I don’t know. It’s their marketing!
Me: Oh, look. I’m walking into the bathroom right now. I’m checking my deodorant.
My mum: It won’t even say. Look, sport deodorant […]