What? You Weigh 64 Kilograms? Get Out of the Elevator!

I was looking through the front pocket of my backpack today, and it’s one of those backpack compartments where you just seem to accumulate crap. I realised there were 5 different kinds of mints sitting in there - one of which I never even remember buying.

I’m sure you’ve heard Tic Tacs being called Barbie Doll Tampons before. Well, let me tell you: buy a pack of the mints called Frozz. These things are serious tampon confectionary material.

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The weather was really weird this morning, really ominous, as if there was going to be a storm. Inside the building I work in, the windows are tinted so dark it borders on the ridiculous, but it was quite cool today because it felt like I was living in The Crow, with the bleak view from inside the building.

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There’s a guy in the cubicle opposite me who must be constantly desert-parched all day, because he has an enormous jug of water and keeps pouring himself glasses. This does terrible things to my bladder, especially when we’re only supposed to have a 5 minute break from working every 1 hour and 15 minutes, unless we have a tea break or lunch break. This is true water torture.

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I noticed in the lifts at work today, there’s a sign that reads “Maximum capacity - 16 people or 1020kg”. I did some maths, and figured out that if the allowable total weight is 1020kg, then each person must weigh an average of 63.75kg. On busy days, that’d be a bitch - you’d have to go to the toilet and barf up your lunch just to be able to get in the lift and out of the building.

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