jowl: n. loose hanging skin at the on the throat or neck. (Source: a dictionary with 1266 pages and a navy blue cover)

This is my most hated word in the English language. Jowls on an old man are one of my biggest phobias. Jowls on women’s arms follow a close second. Even the word jowl I find repulsive. This word should be abolished, and anyone with jowls should be put down.

*****

The Geelong Mall is home to a lot of strange sights, usually religious demonstrations and police bands and the like. Today me and Ant were walking in the mall, and Ant had just seen someone he doesn’t really like, which put him in a really pissed off mood. Suddenly…

Man pushing a religion of some sort: Would you like a leaflet?
Ant (hastily walking away): No.
Man pushing a religion of some sort: Jesus died for your sins! Save your soul! You are going to hell!
Ant: OOOOOOOHHH, I’M SOOOOO SCAAAAARRRRREEDDDDDD!
Man pushing a religion of some sort & another religion pusher who appears out of nowhere: You’re going to hell! You’re going to hell!
Ant: Fuckwits
Me: (running across road)

*****

I read in the paper a few days ago that somewhere overseas, Sweden I believe, a man has been charged with the country’s first case of Death by Telephone. He would ring up women and just try to scare them, and he rang up one old grandmother and scared her so bad she had a heart attack and died.

Perhaps these religious people could cause someone a case of Death by Conversation or something. I mean, for me and Ant, we can handle these kind of people, but some people out there are scared quite easily. I can’t believe people are allowed to go around saying that people will go to hell if they won’t listen to their spiritual views. That’s just personal intrusion and utter disrespect at it’s very worst. I’m glad Ant kept walking over the road because he probably would have smacked the guy one.

Anyway, me and Ant are going to hell by default, because we’re gay. According to most religions, anyway.

*****

I’ll tell you two food rules that I live by:
1. Meat and fruit should not be mixed together in the same dish.
2. Anything mint flavoured is strictly for oral hygiene.

That’s right. I violently oppose mint flavoured ice cream, mint flavoured confectionary (besides Tic Tacs etc), anything mint flavoured that isn’t toothpaste or a breath freshener. Mint just doesn’t taste right as an ice cream flavour. Do I see a Listerine flavoured Cornetto? No.

*****

Today at work:

Ms J.: I’m convinced the world is going to end on the 31st.
Me: Why? Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for that Y2K crap.
Ms J.: Well, you never know, do you?
Me: Trust me. Just go out on New Year’s, have a great time, and don’t worry.
Ms J.: I guess if the world does end, at least I’ll go out in a nice dress.

This entry was posted on Friday, December 17th, 1999 at 8:26 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.