Welcome to Tasmania: We’re the Small Intestine of Australia
This morning I was in the shower when one of my visiting country cousins turned the cold water on full bore in the bathroom, so I got a delightful blast of hot water…
Me: Yaaaaaaaaaaargh!
Country cousin: What? What’s wrong?
Me: Are you using the taps or something?
Country cousin: Oh, sorry, did you get some hot water then?
Me: Yeah, but it’s okay. I didn’t really need those pesky OUTER LAYERS OF MY FLESH ANYWAY.
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I went into Geelong today and noticed in one of the shopping centres, a display that has been set up by Barwon Water, who supply the Geelong area with water. They do a pretty bodgy job at the best of times – last week in Lorne, a coastal town about 30 minutes along the coast from Torquay, a sewage pump stuffed up and residents of Lorne had sewage flowing down streets and on their front lawns. Who can complain about free fertilizer?
Anyhow, this Barwon Water display is all about Australia’s wetlands. An interesting poster proclaims that “Wetlands are the kidneys of Australia!” Of course, and that must make coastal resort towns like Lorne the incontinent bowels of Australia.
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I hope this doesn’t turn into the whole longest-country-name-in-the-world debate that raged on this site a few weeks back, but I found out last night that – allegedly – the longest English word is antidisestablishmentarianism. I’d like to see John Burgess’ Catch Phrase game show make a wacky visual clue for that – although if you’re looking for antidisestablishmentarianism, I don’t think Catch Phrase is probably a good place to look for it.
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I hate it when I’m drunk and I have to face my parents, especially if it’s totally unexpected. I always say things I totally regret the next day, like how I know that my mum has got a g-string hidden away in one of her drawers (my sister found it once by accident). I haven’t made eye contact with her today yet.
Speaking of mothers, I’ve discovered a new game to play. Go into a crowded store where there are lots of parents and children such as a toy store, and in a kid’s voice, just go ‘Mum? …Mum?’ and watch all the female heads in the store turn around by instinct.
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Where The Hell Did That Come From, #3825:
(earlier on today)
My younger sister: Damn – I just realised I missed Dawson’s Creek – The Concert last December.
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You know how on KFC signs, they’ve got a little board where they put removable letters on, to inform us all of their latest special? At the Grovedale KFC in Geelong, it currently reads ‘Try our bucket!’ Well, after eating KFC, a bucket is usually one of the first things I’m looking for, so if they’re providing them with each meal – well, that’s convenience!