I can’t believe I missed McHappy Day. There’s nothing funnier than visiting your local suburban McDonalds on McHappy Day and trying to identify the hordes of “celebrities” that are serving customers. These so-called famous people are usually little more than school principals and local politicians but it’s all a silly laugh nonetheless.
Two years ago […]

At work on Wednesday:
Mr Marketing: Parappa, just to make sure you know, you’re not allowed to smoke outside this building, okay?
Parappa the Rapper: Well, I don’t smoke anyway, but why is that?
Mr Marketing: Apparently the boss thinks it’s a bad image for our company.
Jen: I heard he fired someone on the spot once when […]

Adam: Hmm, I really feel like some Japanese soup.
Me: Since when did you like Japanese food?
Adam: I had Japanese for lunch the other day.
Me: Ah. So now you like it, eh?
Adam: I have Japanese ancestry, you know.
Me: Oh, that’s a good one.
Adam: I’m serious.
Me: You’re the most unoriental person I know.
Adam: No, I must be […]

Date: Tue, 13 Jun 2000 10:48:23PM (GMT +10:00)
Subject: The Colonel
To: webmaster@kfc.com
Hi.
In Australia, I notice you sell a burger named ‘The Colonel’s Choice Chicken Fillet Burger’.
How can the Colonel personally choose what chicken he uses when he’s dead? Is there’s something you’re not telling us all?
Er… there WAS only one Colonel, wasn’t […]

Contemporary art: what a load of toss. There was a contemporary art festival here in Sydney for the past few weeks, with the Grand High Priest of Contemporary Nuttiness herself - Yoko Ono - spearheading the whole shebang. I don’t understand contemporary art at all, and I don’t think most people do either. As far […]