The Creepiest Thing I Saw at the Mardi Gras
March 5, 2001
Adam was right when he said straight couples tend to be rather protective of each other at the gay Mardi Gras parade. We watched the parade on Saturday night, but seemed to be surrounded by a lot of straight people.
We squeezed ourselves into a little nook between a crowd of people standing on milk crates for a better view and a tree. Considering we only got there 2 hours before it started (other people had been there all day) it wasn’t that bad a position.
I was craning my head out of the crowd to look down the street, when a lady next to me thrust her elbow into my ear.
She quickly turned around as she felt her joint come into impact with my head. ‘Oh, I’m so sorry,’ she jibbered.
‘That’s okay,’ I said as I rubbed my head.
‘No, I’m really sorry,’ she apologised.
‘It’s alright,’ I accepted.
‘No, seriously, I am really sorry,’ she continued.
‘Yes,’ I replied.
‘I wasn’t trying to make a move on you,’ she was quick to explain.
‘Yes, no moves,’ her husband interjected.
‘Um, that’s okay,’ I replied, wondering if I should play the gay card or not.
‘You should hit her back,’ her husband continued. I was about to reply in surprise when the lady spoke.
‘Yes, hit me,’ she decided.
‘Um…’ Adam was looking at me with a weird look. ‘It’s okay,’ I said.
‘No, you really should hit her,’ the husband said, looking down at me from his milk crate.
‘Really, it’s okay,’ I muttered.
‘She likes to be hit,’ the husband confided. This kind of information I did not need to know.
‘I really do,’ the lady exclaimed with glee. It was worrying how easily I could see her dressed in dominatrix gear.
‘Hit her,’ the man ordered.
‘No!’ I snapped, slightly revolted; then turned my back.
As a result, the creepiest thing I saw at the Mardi Gras wasn’t even in the parade.
