We are a dying breed. We were the stars. We were the mighty.

Once integral stars of the gargantuan spectacular that was Gladiators, we are now slowly but surely being forced into extinction. Oh, you can tell us that Atlaspheres are no longer required in the entertainment industry, but we know better. We are surely on the verge of a Atlasphere resurgance.

The glory days when we were occupied by such entertainers as Taipan, Flame, Storm and Cougar are long gone. We yearn for the over-enthusiastic whistle-blowing of Mike Whitney and the friendly yet slightly alien interviews of Kimberley Joseph. But such changes are all in the name of progress.

The other events on Gladiators simply paled compared to us. The Pyramid? Piffle. Those swinging ring things? Tripe. Those giant cotton bud things? Well, they were just dangerous, weren’t they? You could break your leg or something if you fell off the balancing plank.

Not since It’s A Knockout has such a fantastic show been present on the airwaves. But we now understand the entertainment industry wishes to force us out. We shall fight! Even though refused entry to many most actors’ unions, we still will manage to find roles in the future.

One of us has landed a guest role on Neighbours. Admittedly, it’s just a background character who sits in the coffee shop sipping a cappucino, but it’s something.

Don’t be mistaken though - we’re not just on the small screen. Why, it was just a few months ago that one of us landed a role as one of the dancers in Moulin Rogue. You may not recognise the trademark Atlasphere in the background, but it’s amazing what they can do with make-up these days.

So take heed. Us Atlaspheres are not dead, we’re just neglected. But we are still “con-ten-derrrrrs!” Soon we will resurge, powerful as Aaron Pederson’s enigmatic hosting skills, and as powerful as the booming voice which announced each Gladiators event (”AT-LOS-PHEEEEERE!”)

Besides, if we don’t get our way, we’ll just roll our metal cages over your fucking foot.

This entry was posted on Monday, June 11th, 2001 at 12:50 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.