I Can Say No
September 9, 2001
Dear Snack Brands Australia,
The packaging of your ‘CC’s Corn Chips’ continues to horrify me. In what can only be described as shades of communism, you continue to demand - nay, threaten! - consumption of your products or face an unknown sinister fate.
Ominous threats such as ‘You can’t say NO!’ were perhaps, in communist Russia, a valid point given the lack of other corn chip varities available. Yet in this day and age, with many other - let’s admit it - superior corn chipperies producing products similar to your own; this threat is something which should be stood up against.
I challenge your threats! I believe that I can say NO to CC’s Corn Chips! Furthermore, I will demonstrate the strength of my cause by also saying no to your ‘full on corn crunch’, which you suggest I am unable to refuse either!
To what manner of punishment are you inferring? Small children are suckered into purchasing your snacks on a daily basis - is this a safe product for them? Are we talking about torture? Monetary fines? Forced consumption of CC’s Salsa, which apparently the Australian public at whole isn’t permitted to say no to either? (And let’s not even go into your lewd suggestions that it must only be consumed in co-ordination with CC’s Scoops Chips, ‘the perfect corn chip for dipping, which’ - are you ready? - ‘you can’t say NO to!’
You believe the taxpayers of Australia are unable to submit to your ‘full on corn flavour’, eh? Well, we’ve had enough! In the tradition of the S11 protests, we are in the process of organising the calamity that will be CC11! You watch us say NO on this day, as we reclaim the streets! …and convenience store shelves!
You watch out with your threats, buster. Your demands are not welcome here.
Regards,
Disturbed Citizen
