Patiently queuing at a pedestrian crossing with business folk who didn’t look like they’d turn down a healthy dose of leisurely discipline after hours, I absently pulled at my necktie. I’d been hoping that the next job I procured didn’t require me to wear this dirty uniform of corporate whoredom, as I’d been lucky enough […]

Dear Commission-Hungry Representative,
Thank you for thanking me for my recent application for the position of Customer Service Pleb, which was recently dressed up as a once in a lifetime opportunity on my jobseeker website of choice. Further thanks for having now sent me your whinging standard response twice.
After careful consideration, it is with some measure […]

Here’s a moral dilemma for you: you’ve adamantly sworn yourself off all consumables which are deep-fried, pre-packaged, chocolate-smothered, icecream-centred, caramelicious, take less than two minutes to prepare, or have been proffered up by a suspicious-looking clown who assures you that his special sauce is nothing to worry about.
Then a mysterious, faceless organisation sends you rather […]

My dear old workmate Kazza, she who was always proud to announce to all members of company staff which colour knickers she was wearing on any particular day, dropped in for a fleeting visit last week.
Upon entering our living room, she swiftly sunk herself into the couch. ‘I’m pooped,’ she sighed. ‘I was doing the […]

‘I had a very good idea for a plan today,’ Adam burst into the apartment breathlessly. ‘And it involves you.’
Frowning, I was immediately suspicious. ‘Does this involve me engaging in breakfast temping again?’ I demanded.
‘No, no,’ Adam waved his hand dismissively.
‘I am worried that your plan will negate our long-held plan for the mission this […]

dearly missing my daily march to the local cafe for a sandwich. Unlike more devoted members to most companies I’ve worked at, I draw the line at working through my lunch break. Sure, reheating last night’s casserole in the microwave and grimly soldering on through what’s apparently ‘urgent’ paperwork aided solely by congealed globs of […]

One of the employment agencies I’m with has convinced me to partake in an activity of theirs which they like to term ‘breakfast temping’. After expressing my annoyance that they didn’t seem to have even glanced at my resumé - nowhere did I mention an interest in catering or a preference for early morning working […]