Easter was spent in Melbourne, where I promptly decided to slip into Pimp Mode and strut around Crown Casino like I owned the place. I’ve got a real soft spot for blackjack, mostly because I’m incredibly fucking good at the game - taught myself how to card count and all.
So after anguishing over blackjack and […]

One of the great defining differences between Adam and I is our taste in music. I’m the slightly more wussy guy who is one step away from dislocating his neck due to headbanging, and Adam’s the big kickboxing man into happy hardcore dance (ha!) It’s one of the laws of the universe - my music […]

1. The NRL Footy Show, to see the Chief. But Chief! WTF have you done to your hair since I last saw you three years ago! Back to the spikes or cap please!
2. Country Music Australia Channel. I’m no fan of country music, but tonight realised that most male country singers = teh hot.
3. Back […]

1: Busker/Walkman Encounters. Whenever I’m wandering absently around the city, or on my way to or from work, it’s almost always to a soundtrack from my MP3 player. Usually this involves zooming my way through a city train station tunnel - the kind almost guaranteed to be inhabitated by buskers.
Herein lies my dilemma. I’ll be […]

While my athletic endurance is building up to a level worthy of the enthusiasm of the Flight Centre captain, my muscular strength remains low. In my dodgy neighbourhood, this means I can likely succesfully integrate myself into the civic consumer-entrepeneurial economic microredistribution of wealth (ie nicking handbags and doing a runner), before working my way […]

Wrote this a few years ago on my old site, but I’m not afraid of some shameless recycling.
*****
(Curtain rises. An open plan office filled with flat-screen monitors and workers - average age 23, clad mostly in rave attire - buzz around the stage. Lights dim and spotlights shine on a group of four business development […]

I feel like a really bad brother, because I forgot both of my little sisters’ birthdays during the last week (prefer not to overly analyse the fact that both my sisters’ birthdays are exactly eight months after my parents’ anniversary). I’ve sent them apologetic emails - they’re hard to contact by phone, which makes me […]

Oh my God, I just remembered the sound RealPlayer used to make when you fired it up. Holy scrota, was that the happiest fucking sound in the world or what?!

I’m going to (selectively) add some of my old blog entries from back in 1999-2002 over the next few days, notably excluding satirical entries about Marcus Graham, Ticketek, Simon Townsend and Helen Wellings (that consumer affairs reporter on Today Tonight); all of which almost got me sued. Oh, and an entry where I attempted to […]

What else has been happening? A few days ago, in an infuriated work moment, I vowed to my workmate Henry that something my boss did made me so angry, I could eat a vagina. PS, that’s unreasonably angry.
Following on from my last angry post about Foxtel, have you tried watching the ACC channel (I […]

Video Music Unawards

I’ve been cautious and wary of my gym’s exercise classes. I’ve only been punishing myself at the gym for three months, but have strictly avoided organised classes and their associated motivational shouty instructors. That, and the fact that it probably involves submitting myself to trance music.
Yet a class would break up my exercise routine a […]

At birth, I was rendered 90% blind in my right eye by a nasty cataract. This has lead to all sorts of minor irritations during my life, but never has been a point of major concern. In some ways, it complements my laziness: I only have to rub one lenses of my sunglasses to clean […]