Dismemberment Monday
That’s right, fuckers! Adult circumcision action is happening on Monday the 9th of May. Mark it in your calendar! Circle it in red! Draw an inappropriate doodle of a, er… doodle next to it!
Finally, my dumb dick will be fixed. I’m off to the very tip of the Blue Mountains for the operation, which feels very celebrity-surgery-enhancement. It’s actually located much closer to Sydney than I realised, so - along with my nurse for the day, Adam - I’m going to try going straight home after the op in a taxi. If I feel really crap, we’ll spend the night in (are you ready?) Panthers World of Entertainment. Yes, that’s far west Sydney’s obvious natural home of gambling, footy, denim as aphrodisiac and circumcision post-op respite.
It’s actually the only non-dodgy hotel in Penrith, and if I’m feeling like hell after I’m discharged from the hospital, I won’t be wanting to travel much further. Plus, there’ll be a freaking mini-bar, which I believe could be just the ticket after having one of my favourite parts of my body mutiliated.
In other sudden realisations, I will totally have to learn how to wank from scratch in about six week’s time.
April 13th, 2005 at 10:03 pm
PANTHERS! you will have to let us know if it really is a world of entertainment. hope all goes well!
April 14th, 2005 at 5:50 pm
Just use lube. Isn’t that what circumcised people do? Also, don’t you have like a boyfriend to do it for you?!? Tell him to get off his arse and service you like he should!
You should be right though. Isn’t it just a local anaesthetic and a snip and stitch? Hee hee I don’t envy you. Is it too presumptuous to ask for photos?
April 14th, 2005 at 6:50 pm
Grotesque as it sounds, I was planning on taking photos for personal reference. I shall share to the willing.
April 14th, 2005 at 11:27 pm
If the hospital in the Blue Mountains is not good enough for your cock or they fuck up your booking, you could always have a bris in one of the function rooms at Panthers World of Bogans.
To wank with your new cock, use lube, or failing that, spit and use more of a rubbing motion than a pulling motion.
April 14th, 2005 at 11:51 pm
I have totally been planning a bris for ages! Alongside a bucks party, seeing as I’ll never have one of those.
April 15th, 2005 at 9:08 am
Best of luck with the todger trimming, mate. And we totally want photos. We are ghouls.
April 15th, 2005 at 4:35 pm
It might hurt after the op, when the anaesthetic wears off… and whenever you get an erection until the wound has healed.
I didn’t exactly get an adult circumcision. I know this because I had the slice late enough to remember - but well before puberty, thank god.
Best of luck with it, though :o)
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