Dismemberment Monday
April 13, 2005
That’s right, fuckers! Adult circumcision action is happening on Monday the 9th of May. Mark it in your calendar! Circle it in red! Draw an inappropriate doodle of a, er… doodle next to it!
Finally, my dumb dick will be fixed. I’m off to the very tip of the Blue Mountains for the operation, which feels very celebrity-surgery-enhancement. It’s actually located much closer to Sydney than I realised, so - along with my nurse for the day, Adam - I’m going to try going straight home after the op in a taxi. If I feel really crap, we’ll spend the night in (are you ready?) Panthers World of Entertainment. Yes, that’s far west Sydney’s obvious natural home of gambling, footy, denim as aphrodisiac and circumcision post-op respite.
It’s actually the only non-dodgy hotel in Penrith, and if I’m feeling like hell after I’m discharged from the hospital, I won’t be wanting to travel much further. Plus, there’ll be a freaking mini-bar, which I believe could be just the ticket after having one of my favourite parts of my body mutiliated.
In other sudden realisations, I will totally have to learn how to wank from scratch in about six week’s time.
