Wow, Bob Carr resigned. I wonder if he’llBZZZZZZZZT - you totally thought I’d wanked myself into the blogosphere just then, didn’t you? Back to your regularly scheduled programming.
Can I stay drunk for nine days in a row? I’m about to find out, because I have a week of annual leave next week, hooray! It’s just […]

This afternoon, I happened to notice a dude in the city wearing an pirate patch. It sure didn’t look like it was for medical reasons, either. I’ve totally been waiting for pirate patches to become cool, seeing as I’m blind in one eye anyway. I’d get one off eBay but I can only seem to […]

A family member who shall remain nameless, and who really should know better, sent me an amount of David Jones vouchers for my birthday.
So off I duly trundled, to go and cash in my present for… well, I wasn’t quite sure. This got me thinking: I can’t even remember the last time I visited David […]

You fuckers rule. Thanks for all the Microsoft Paint-created birthday presents. If I can keep this up, you guys will create 100% of the content for my site, and I won’t have to write a bleeding thing. I’ll be like the Courtney Love solo album of blogs.
Anyway, I got sent all sorts of fucked up […]

It’s my birthday! And all I’m asking for as presents, are gifts created entirely in Microsoft Paint. EMAIL ME YOUR BADLY DRAWN YET LUCRATIVE PREZZIES IMMEDIATELY!
Go on, fire up crappy ole Microsoft Paint and wack something up, then send it to me: jeb at tastes like drunk dot com. I’ll post my birthday swag showcase […]

My beloved Catties lost their match against Sydney on Saturday - the only match of the year I’ll get to see them play. In fact, not so much lost their match as suffered a public double-penetration in multiple orifices. Got me buggered what causes that team to fall apart every time they dare step foot […]

Considering how our yuppie stereotype neighbours languish in their Craig-David-Robbie-Williams-Dido-Freedom-Furniture-Showroom existence, it’s a godsend that our other neighbour keeps to himself. Well, in a reserved, creepy, John Burgess kinda way.
There’s not much that we know about this guy, mostly because he doesn’t flail around in his front yard with dislocated wrist bones, wailing about how […]

Adam and I, in an attempt to proactively eliminate any drunken pizza orders, have lately been ensuring that we have frozen pizza and frozen garlic bread on hand at all times. Those Pizza Hut bills sure do add up (even if you try that hack on their site which gives you super cheap meal deals […]

I just saw the video clip to “Buffalo Stance” by Neneh Cherry on TV. She’s all dancing in front of a Windows 3.1 screensaver and shit, with the word “Gigolo” randomly appearing in (appropriately) native Windows 3.1 fonts all over the screen. Was pissing myself laughing within the first 10 seconds.
Like, I’m sure that clip […]