Nothing Says Love Like an Airbrushed Birthday Cake
You fuckers rule. Thanks for all the Microsoft Paint-created birthday presents. If I can keep this up, you guys will create 100% of the content for my site, and I won’t have to write a bleeding thing. I’ll be like the Courtney Love solo album of blogs.
Anyway, I got sent all sorts of fucked up pictures. Take a look.
Dialup users, you may as well go and have a few cones while this loads up. You’re on drugs to be using a pedal-powered modem in this day and age, anyway.
My Microsoft Paint-created gifts can be widely sorted into three main categories:
From Dave. Yep, you’ve sure got that airbrush tool under control.
Likewise, Mark!
Matthew, I have no idea who you are, but you’re a bloody legend. Let’s huff petrol together some time.
Someone sent this to me on MSN while I was pissed, and I can’t quite remember who it was. I’ve got a real sneaking suspicion it’s Henry. Only he has access to such a wide library of tard-faced drunken pictures of me, and intimate knowledge of my permanent Andrew WK boner. (Although dude, it totally looks like I’ve got two dinosaur eggs in my jocks. Top work)
Young Kate has witnessed me drunkenly ranting for an hour straight about Lost, as you can possibly tell from this. Top work for a mention of Sawyer though. I’m touching my dinosaur eggs as I type this.
The next round of pictures can be broadly sorted into category number two…
2. Actual, Physical Presents Drawn in Microsoft Paint, Just Like I Asked For Originally. Are You All as Drunk as I Am When You Look at this Site?
Fred Austere, you freak me out. I don’t even know anything about Rock. But his mere image makes me feel just a little bit too homo. However, I owe a tip of the hat to you for Mercedes Corby joke inspiration. Because of you, I feel like my gums are bleeding whenever I see the latest cover of New Idea.
Cheers Metatron. Even if I can’t tell how to turn the friggin’ thing on, even in this simplified view.
Spike, I’ve been looking at this on and off over the last hour, and still can’t tell if this is supposed to be phallic or not. Is this like some fucked Magic Eye picture or something? *continues staring*
CharlieQuinn, you know me far too well. Teh sex0r.
Which brings me to the third category…
3. Disturbing Yet True to Life Depictions of Myself by People Who, Unfortunately, Have Met Me in the Real World
CJ, thanks. The world needs to know that I’m a closet Filter fan. I’ve honestly no idea if this is a pictorial representation of an actual drunken event in my life or not, though, I can’t remember. But… it probably is.
And Joanna? Man, talk about forcing me to confront my immediate future. This of all images is surely the best depiction of me in 10 years time. Way too many facial piercings, ridiculously bright primary-coloured hair dye, a continued over-obsession with Andrew WK, and a relentless soundtrack of 90s metal. Top work luv.
But seriously? Freakin’ top work from all involved. I way didn’t expect to get that many shitty pictures. Champions, all of you.
July 20th, 2005 at 2:52 am
Dude - those were all awesome!!!
July 20th, 2005 at 9:20 am
If only Courtney had got us in to do her album it might not have been so devestatingly bad.
July 20th, 2005 at 10:09 am
Mwhuahaha.
July 21st, 2005 at 2:27 pm
Oh, and I should probably point out that I wasn’t drawing YOU, I was drawing you a new metal boy to play with. But he’s not like, real, I’m not advocating that you cheat, so please don’t kick my ass, Adam.
July 22nd, 2005 at 4:33 pm
Everyone’s Mad MS Paint Skillz yo put mine to shame.
And seriously, I actually really tried to make it look like David Boysenberry. I thought the sticky up hair was a giveaway, but my lack of… talent made a voice bubble manditory! :)